Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The main event: A loser-leaves-school match

The scene: Aberdeen High School, in the heart of Monroe County, Mississippi. That's Mississippi State signee Jamerson Love entering the squared circle to take on algebra teacher Mr. Johnson. Let's go straight to the ring for the action:

Impressive debut for the youngster, though it seems to confirm this scouting report: "When forced to make a play in run support, he sometimes needs help and resorts to slinging a player down rather than form tackling."

Mr. Johnson, meanwhile, was reportedly fired for his part in the match.

We're thinking this up-and-comer needs a name for that finishing move -- the Tough Love, maybe, or the Love Knot. But right now the smart money's on ...

π r squash

or ...

the nth degree

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Dem's fightin' words

Sometimes I don't miss my home state at all. And yeah, this is one of those times.

Predictably, the great cornerstone of Alabama psychic energy -- all things Alabama vs. Auburn -- has collided head-on with the state's gubernatorial election.

It seems that there's a rumor that Republican Tim James has promised to either cut Alabama coach Nick Saban's salary or run him off.

James is an Auburn man. His daddy, Fob, was an All-American back for the Tigers who served as governor first as a Democrat than as a Republican.

During his first campaign, back in 1978, the elder James had to deal with a purported letter written by Bear Bryant that an Auburn man in the statehouse couldn't be very good for Alabama football. Turns out it was just terrible. James was elected, and in his first three years in office Alabama won two national titles and got robbed of a third.

Thirty years later, a James' campaign is back on the defensive. Up to now, Tim James is best known for telling illegal immigrants that they'd better bone up on their English if he's elected. (Given the quality of the public schools in his state, maybe he should cut a second commercial aimed at the teachers.)

But I digress. Suffice to say, this Auburn-Alabama stuff is a lot more entertaining when watched from a couple of states over. To live through it, moment after moment after moment, is like a yearlong bad ozone day for the brain.

Read more here.