Thursday, October 21, 2010

Who ya got? Week 8

Hard to imagine that after this week, we'll be down to the final third of the season. Seems like only last week when Les Miles and LSU were lucking past an inferior opponent . . . wait, it was last week.

Forget the past. This is about the day after tomorrow, when Miles' charges will be decided underdogs for the first time this year. The undefeated Tigers' mojo will be sorely challenged by Heisman run-away Cam Newton and his equally undefeated band of merry Tiger/Plainsmen. War Eagle.

Saturday also brings us the latest episode of The Real Bulldogs of Georgia Respectability Tour. Based on the woofing by Dawg Nation that followed their team's gallant stands against Vandy and the worst Tennessee team of my lifetime, a win this week over Kentucky will certainly have the Leg Humpers making hotel reservations for the BCS Championship game.

Beat up Alabama goes into Knoxville where rested Tennessee has dug the trench lines for a last stand. And there's good news at last in Gainesville: Florida doesn't play.

Here we go.

LSU vs. Auburn: A simple question for Auburn critics: If Cam Newton is a one-man show, why can't anybody defend him? If it truly is 11 on 1 every week, how does Newton run and throw with such ease that, in the words of Bear Bryant, "it looks like he got to practice an hour early."

Odds are, the big man will be hit by LSU like he hasn't been hit all year. Patrick Patterson will take AU receiver Darvin Adams out of the game, so in theory Gus Malzahn's offense will be somewhat limited.

Which brings this one-word response: So?

LSU's offense still looks like a schizophrenic who goes on and off his medication. Auburn's defenders will give up enough yards to backfill the Louisiana Purchase. But they'll make a few key stops, then get out of the way of the Newton Express. Two undefeated Tigers become one. Auburn, 35-27

Alabama at Tennessee: This one has a bad feel to it -- like "300" of "The Alamo" or one of those other historic melodramas with welling music, drawn-out death scenes and inspiration galore. Barf. Tennessee is awful. But, with the exception of their putrid effort at Georgia, the Vols play hard for at least a half. This week they're rested (Surprise! another Tide opponent with two weeks to prepare) and they're facing Alabama, which every Tennessean over 35 hates more than ring worm. Alabama, on the other hand, has played tepidly on the road at Arkansas and South Carolina, particularly on defense. This also will be its eighth straight game, the offense has bogged down and Julio Jones still can't get through an airport metal detector. That said, Nick Saban would have us believe his team is climbing out of the crater left by the South Carolina loss. Show us. Tide, 24-14.

Georgia at Kentucky We won't have a repeat of the pinball wizardry displayed by Auburn and Arkansas last week, but bring extra batteries for the calculator just in case. The Georgia team got run over by a truck early in the year, leaving Mark Richt's team in more bandages than the English Patient. Each week in rehab, they add a little more weight. Can Georgia lift its way past Kentucky? By the cold, wet nose of its improving defense. Woof, 31-28

South Carolina at Vandy The Gamecocks' loss last week at Kentucky, as beautifully staged and as utterly predictable as Italian opera, turns what should be a walk-over into an veritable aria about loss and second chances. If the Dores somehow win, they take the lead in the SEC East. Sorry, but I have to sit down for a minute. That notion is definitely out of my range. USC, 24-16

Ole Miss at Arkansas: Remember Tiger Paws, the tire with the cartoon ad that had claws protruding under the bumpers to keep the car on the road? Unfortunately for Arkansas, a set of real Tiger mits shredded the Hogs' season last week and raised new questions on whether coach Bobby Petrino will ever care enough about defense to be competitive in the SEC. Ole Miss, on the other hand, passed its share of licks at Alabama, even though Jeremiah Masoli and the Reb offense were hit far more than it hit back. The key here is the absence of Hog QB Ryan Mallett and the level of shell shock experienced by the Arkansas defense. Cam Newon still haunts the dreams of Fayetteville. Black Rebel Bears, 31-28.

UAB vs. Mississippi State: The team no one wants to play demonstrates why. Bullies, 35-10.


Alex said...

Charlotte alum and Auburn grad student here. Here's hoping my adopted football team takes it to LSU this week. WAR CAM EAGLE.

Anonymous said...

Here are some rhetorical questions, rhetorical because they have no actual answer:

Good gawd, is it week 8 already? Why does football season last 15 minutes and summer last 11 months? Why is Oklahoma #1? Why do thousands of 18-year-olds every year ruin their lives by enrolling at a barbeque pit in Tuscaloosa AL?

Again, no clear answers. Best to just move on to the week 8 picks.

‘Bama at Tennessee – ‘Bama gets its second straight bye week after the SC game. If Gordon thinks I’m buying his Alamo routine he’s nuts. Oh, yeah, Tomlinson is also nuts for thinking ‘Bama loses 3 games this year. Somebody get a muscle relaxant for Mr. CBC’s sphincter muscles at halftime. The Evil Empire 38, Vols 17

Georgia at Kentucky – the corpse in Athens has been declared alive. So has the corpse in Lexington. The winner becomes SC’s top challenger. Can you actually picture UGA or UK in Atlanta? Big Ol’ Hairy Dawgs 49, Randall Cobb 42

Misipi at Ar-Kansas – turns out Ar-Kansas has TWO good QBs. Misipi, despite a reputation that preceded him, has none. Ar-Kansas 34, Misipi 17

UAB at Misipi State – Bulldogs will run 79 plays, 78 of them runs. Misipi St 21, UAB 10

South Carolina at Vanderbilt – If SC loses this game, the QB and coach should both get fired. They won’t. Fightin’ Chickens 35, Vandy 21

BYE WEEK at Florida: In a startling development, The Coach Who Thinks He’s God sends the offense out to the practice field by themselves. They come up short on 3rd down then miss a field goal. BYE WEEK 0, Gators 0

LSU at Auburn – This is the best set of defensive backs Auburn will face all year. So Newton will run. A lot. Even LSU will do well on offense against Auburn’s Swiss cheese defense. And as for Miles’ luck? Even The Luckiest Man In The World can’t go undefeated at the craps table. The maker of Maalox will stay in business, solely because of me. After the game, I will assume the title of Luckiest Man In The World for trading Jermichael Finley in my fantasy league the week before he blew his knee out. WAR EAGLE 31, LSU 28

Last week’s record: 4-2
Season record: 43-13

Bama Brother said...

I think the J man is on the mark with his predictions, but something tells me that Tennessee may see the best effort of its sad season against Alabama. Georgia seems to be finding its feet, so to speak, and a lot of that may be due to a guy named Green, who may again show in Lexington how much his team needed him earlier in the season. I'm certainly not as plugged in as J and Dr. Gordon, but the times I have seen LSU play, its defense seemed lightning quick. Nonetheless, I can't see the Bayou Bengals stopping Auburn's whale of a QB, even though they will throw a lot more harpoons at Moby Cam than Arkansas did.

Michael said...

Uh-oh, two barners on the same post. We may have reached critical mass.

Alex, welcome. Come back anytime.

Anonymous said...

Bammer wins by at LEAST 28, if not more Saturday night in K-ville.

UK beats Jawja, by a field goal.

Awwburn beats the Corndogs 34-17.

SC beats Vandy 34-14.

Bud said...

If I were in Vegas I would definitely take LSU +6 at AU. However I'm not plus I have an uncanny way of picking wrong against the spread. As much as I hate it, it looks like Auburn will be 8-0 by nightfall. I never expected to see that this year.

Georgia continues its climb toward mediocrity by beating KY tonight. No TV in Charlotte and Time Warner wants me to pay $24 to see it at home. I figure the game is only worth about $12.50 so I'll probably track the outcome with ESPN updates. Another trial and tribulation of membership in this year's version of the UGA fan club.

Vandy should make it closer than expected against USC tonight but I can't believe the Gamecocks would lose back to back to KY and Vandy after beating Bama.

Tide should roll vs the Vols and Ark is already ahead of the Rebel Bears or whatever they are by 21-3 as I write this.