Saturday, November 20, 2010

Who ya got -- Week 12

It's Hors-d'oeuvres Week for the SEC.

We've got some nachos and calamari ordered, and a nice little hummus and cut vegetable plate that we'll be passing around, with a pitcher of Sam being poured at the bar right now. Nothing too heavy, just enough to take the edge off the stomach growling and to hold us over to the real meal arrives next week.

Oh the latest news on Cam: He and his dad sold secrets to the Russians, smuggled kryptonite for Lex Luthor and were off in a lab reworking the formula for bird flu. It's Auburn's off week, you know.

Oops, Beer's here. Pass the nachos:

Ole Miss at LSU: Woe is he who toots his own horn and laughs loudest at his own jokes and takes credit for every good thing that happens within a 100-mile circle. Woe is Houston Nutt, whose Ole Miss team has the SEC's three most embarrassing losses: To Jacksonville State. To Vandy. And, in a shellacking of Michael Oher proportions, to woeful Tennessee last week. (What comes after a Hat Trick? Mickey Mouse ears?) Now Nutt and his team must beat LSU and instate rival Mississippi State to get to a minor bowl. It's possible LSU's offense could revert to its mud wrestling form from early in the season. But that's about as likely as Nutt's team putting up any kind of fight. Tigers, 31-14

Arkansas at Mississippi State: The Hogs' dismantling of SEC East champ South Carolina underscores once again the dominance of the West. Meanwhile, the pop you heard Saturday night was the puncture wound Alabama put in State's rising hopes for a breakout season. The Bullies are back at home, but to beat the Hogs, it must recapture its "Small Ball" magic: a ground-control offense and a sticky defense. Otherwise, Ryan Mallett will light up a bonfire big enough to melt a cow bell. Home crowd keeps it tight but . . . Arkansas, 28-24

Tennessee at Vanderbilt: Vols, we didn't think you had it in you. Not long after being depicted as outmanned Nazis -- by their own coach! -- UT turned heads and altered the course of its season with the disembowment of Ole Miss. There's a term used by a group of no-count golfers I know: PBSU -- post-birdie screw up. It depicts the problems that often come on the heels of a good performance. We are at that moment for UT. Tyler Bray, it's up to you, bud. Vols 24-16

Troy at South Carolina: Uh-oh. This is a trap game big enough to embarrass an entire conference. Troy is dangerous. South Carolina probably doesn't care. Troy can't wait to play. South Carolina can't wait to get to Atlanta for the SEC championship. Let's review: Stephen Garcia is a head case. Check. Marcus Lattimore may not play much. Check. And there's that little matter of coming back to earth after the most important win in the school's modern history. Check. Don't be surprised by an upset. At the very least, Spurrier may wreck his rotator cuff slinging his visor around. USC, 30-24

Appalachian State at Florida: The food is here, so let's make this quick. Florida played the most embarrassing game of Urban Meyer's coaching career in its loss at home to South Carolina last week. If the Gators don't come out rocking the Mountaineers, Florida has problems beyond what we can fathom. Gators: 40-21.


Bud said...

Did anyone see the college picks on ESPN Gameday today? When they got to the Arkansas at Mississippi St game, Chris Fowler started out by talking about Houston Nutt and Ole Miss and then went into some detail on what a tough season Ole Miss has had and how he was picking Arkansas. Then Mike Ditka said he was picking Arkansas over Ole Miss too. When they went to Corso, he acted like nobody had said anything strange at all and picked Arkansas over Mississippi State and Herbstreit picked State to pull the upset. Then they went right on to the next game. Nobody on the stage ever said anything about the fact that Fowler and Ditka were talking about a game that didn't even exist. It was really weird.