Friday, November 27, 2009

Who ya got? Week 13

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all, and that's enough of that.

Given the calendar, and given that our sport is football, there's a pretty fair chance that your team is playing someone you despise. It's Rivalry Weekend, more accurately described as College Football's Celebration of Sectarian Violence.

So here we go:

Georgia at Georgia Tech: Wounded dogs are angry dogs, and Georgia will fight hard for a half against Tech. But like a pit bull, the Engineers will keep coming, long after the Red and Black have lost their nose for the fight. Tech, 35-24.

Tennessee at Kentucky: The Volunteers' annual respectability caravan rolls into Lexington, and nobody ends a season on an easier note than Tennessee. But in Kentucky, they face a team that plays at or above its potential almost every week. This one will be close, and every team in the league is pulling for the Wildcats. I like the karma. But not the final score. UT, 21-17.

Clemson at South Carolina: I had this friend in high school who was a gifted basketball player, until he faced someone just as good. Rather than be exposed, he acted as if he didn't care. Steve Spurrier has a losing record against Clemson, and most times, it looks like he and his team could give a rip. Stephen Garcia cares, but he doesn't have enough help. Tigers, 24-21.

Arkansas at LSU: Les Miles coached the last minute against Ole Miss like a man with a severe concussion. Thus, his team once again is swooning while the Hogs are finding their legs. Worse for him, the LSU crowd may be more lathered up about his mental state than who wins what has become one of the SEC's most entertaining games. Entertain this: Hogs, 31-28.

Florida State at Florida: Let's save the print here: Tim Tebow is not losing his last home game in Gainesville. Fairy Tales don't end that way. Gators, 38-14.

Ole Miss at Miss. State: The "Egg Bowl" is a terrible farm-to-market, Eisenhower-Era name for a seething instate hatefest. This week, it shall be known as the "Houston Nutt Trap Bowl." In other words, Nutt's bigger and more talented team is about to lay an egg. Bullies, 24-21.

Alabama at Auburn: Alabama, in their coach's words, must change the way Auburn thinks about the Tide and themselves. In other words, if Alabama holds on to the ball and each player pounds away at the Auburn jersey in front of him, the Tide should take this one. But the scariest thing about Alabama's season so far is how -- the Terrence Cody block party aside -- it has lacked weirdness.
Something tells me something weird is in store at The Plains this week. It will keep the game closer. But hear this: The Evil Empire is bringing the Imperial Walkers. Tide, 35-20.


Anonymous said...

Bring me all the evidence to the contrary you want. I will go to my grave insisting the Iron Bowl is the most personal, nasty, hate-filled rivalry in all of organized sports, high school, college or professional, regardless of sport. I have lived in the territory of a bunch of rivalries. None comes even remotely close to this one. The loser spends the next 365 days in utter, complete misery.

If, after Iron Bowl ’08 and the canning of Tommy Tuberville, you had told any Auburn fan that 1 year later, you would have 7 wins and a bowl, we’d take it. Then, if you told us that this would take place with the Iowa State coach that won 5 games in 2 years, we’d have said, “Hey, man, pass that over! I want some of whatever you’re smoking.”

On to the picks:

Florida State at Florida – Mid-pack ACC team against elite SEC team. Keep out of reach of children. Here’s a good time for ‘Noles fans to get a jump-start on egg nog consumption. Gators 52, Dadgum Seminoles 7

Georgia at Georgia Tech – Mid-pack SEC is always better than elite ACC, no matter how high the elite ACC team is ranked. Please don’t forget that Tech beat Vandy by all of 3 points. Upset Special. Big Ol’ Hairy Dawgs 34, Tech 31

Tennessee at Kentucky - So who is Tennessee’s main rival supposed to be, Vandy or Kentucky? Yeah, I know I asked that last week, but I still don’t have an answer. Cats won last week, and one word that does not describe this team is consistency. Lane & Monty 27, Mildcats 20

Clemson at S. Carolina – ACC vs. SEC logic doesn’t apply here, since SC is really just an old ACC team. Let ‘em move this game to Labor Day; it’s about as relevant as ‘Bama vs. Georgia State. Clempson 23, Fightin’ Chickens 21

Misipi at Misipi St – The Egg Bowl is always fun. Rebs seem to have found their way, now that they know they have the best RB in the conference. Misipi 24, Misipi St 17

Ar-Kansas at LSU – Bengals should have won by 20 last year, except they forgot the game lasts FOUR quarters. Something tells me this is going to play out like LSU-‘Bama – LSU will see their good defense worn down and in the end, give up a couple big plays. Ar-Kansas 27, LSU 17

‘Bama at Auburn – The problem with Iron Bowl ‘09 is that Nick Saban can convince gnats and goldfish his school is the place to be, while Tuberville was an excellent coach but was often Alpo on the recruiting trail. This has given ‘Bama a severe talent advantage. We now know that, despite his Iowa State record, Chizik can coach. We can only pray he can recruit anywhere near as good as he can coach, so we can restore the results of this game to where God intended them to be – the results from 2002-2007. For now, we must endure some more shame. The Evil Empire 27, War Damn Eagle 21

Bigdawg said...

UGA beats GA Tech, KY beats the Vols, USC beats Clem, Arkansas beats LSU, FL State beats Tebow, Miss St beats Ole Miss, the War Eagles win the Iron Bowl, and hell freezes over.

The Reid said...

J, the Iron Bowl is the most personal, nasty, hate-filled rivalry in all of sports...except for one. North Carolina-Duke basketball. That is easily the most intesne rivalry in all of sports. I'm not sure there's a way for two teams to hate each other any more than those two do. And on to the picks:
Gators 38 'Noles 20
Ramblin Wreck 45 Dawgs 27
Kentucky 27 Rocky Top 26
Clemson 35 Clemson Whipping Boys 18
Rebs 29 Mississippi State 17
Woo Pig Suey 31 Geaux Tigers 28
Crimson Tide 35 War Eagle 20

Anonymous said...

The Reid - you must be an NC native that has never been anywhere else. Duke-UNC is a nice little mini-hate fest, but has nothing on the Iron Bowl.

For example - I'd love to comment on Iron Bowl 2009, but I am hardly able to do so without using every filthy word in the English language. The best I can do is say that the name Upchurch now ranks up there with Namath, Bryant, Stallings and the other vile scumbags that have claimed victory over the War Eagle.