Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Beatles do the SEC

The Beatles are the SEC of bands -- they constantly fought with one another, but together they produced greatness and made history. Today, as the band releases its remastered catalog and debuts its version of "Rock Band," we took some Fab Four song titles and adapted them to the Terrific Twelve. OK, this is starting to sound like one of those cheesy ABC promos. Let's just get on with it.

Carry that Weight: In giving up 478 yards to Washington, and never forcing a three-and-out, LSU's defensive line looked slow, soft and heavy.

Fool on the Hill: One guess, three hints: he's got a hot wife, a big mouth and a bunch of assistant coaches who like to rip off their shirts.

Getting Better All the Time: The mantra of all new head coaches in the SEC, especially since none of their teams has played a meaningful game.

Happiness is a Warm Gun: Brandon Deaderick, the Alabama lineman who was shot last week and played in Saturday's game.

Here, There and Everywhere: Better known as the Tim Tebow Symphony.

Her Majesty: What you call a coach who can keep Ole Miss in the top 10.

I Should Have Known Better: all the UGA fans who thought losing Stafford/Moreno/Massaquoi would somehow make for a better team.

I’ve Just Seen a Face: And it belongs to ... Gene Chizik? "Had it been another day, I might have looked the other way."

Magical Mystery Tour: any conversation with Ed Orgeron.

P.S. I Love You: What Urban wrote on the last page of Tebow's playbook.

Sun King / Mean Mr. Mustard: Life with Les Miles.

When I'm 64: Having reached that age, Steve Spurrier should consider these questions: "Will you still need me, will you still feed me" if the offensive genius can’t find an offense.

Yesterday: Done in multi-part harmony by all those fired coaches Auburn still has on the payroll.

You Won’t See Me: On bowl invite day, Mississippi State must regretfully RSVP.

You Never Give Me Your Money: a song SEC recruits rarely sing.

Bonus Track -- Eight Days a Week: Michigan's off-season workout schedule.

(Surely you can do better than this... here's a cheat sheet of Beatles song titles to get you started.)