Friday, September 4, 2009

Weekend picks: Who ya got?

After one game, the score is SEC 1, Rest of the Universe 0. Even though Steve Spurrier may have strangled the entire USC offense with his visor by now.

The real festivities begin Saturday, with 10 more SEC teams in action, plus Ole Miss on Sunday. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Our picks:

Michael Gordon (0-1 on season)

Charleston Southern at #1 Florida
Compared to what Mayer and Tebow will unleash on the South Carolinians, Gen. Sherman would qualify for the Nobel Peace Prize. 66-3

#5 Alabama v. #7 Virginia Tech (Atlanta)
While most SEC teams feast on munchkins, the Tide and Hokies go medieval on each other in Atlanta. Alabama brings a couple more chainsaws. 20-17, Tide.

#11 LSU at Washington
Loud crowd -- for a half. Hot sauce goes good on dog meat. LSU. 31-13.

#13 UGA at #9 Oklahoma State
It's all on the backs of Joe Cox and the Dawg D. Snap. 24-20 Pokes.

Kentucky at Miami (OH)
Big game for the Big Blue. Do they have a QB who can make plays? Just enough. 24-17 Cats.

Western Kentucky at Tennessee
The Big Orange’s band of merry coaching gentleman, and Kiffin needs to win big. He wins, but not big enough to offset the whippins’ that lie ahead. Vols 35-10.

Jackson State at Mississippi State
Spread? Spread thin is more like it. MSU 20-3.

La. Tech at Auburn
Duel of the snackfoods: Mudbugs vs. Cheesesticks. Burp. Auburn 17-7.

Missouri State at Arkansas
Nobody really wants to play Arkansas this year. Hogs: 44-20.

Western Carolina at Vanderbilt
Catamounts vs. Commodores. Alliteration wins. So does Vandy. 24-7.

Ole Miss at Memphis (Sunday)
Rebs got the target on their back. 35-13, Ole Miss.

R. Trentham Roberts (0-1)

Charleston Southern - Florida -- This one's on Fox Sports South. You'll only have to endure it for an hour before Bama-Va Tech starts on ABC. There is a god in heaven. Mount Tebow Missionary Baptist Church 63, School Formerly Known as Baptist College 3.

Alabama - Virginia Tech -- Just think ... to be the person who came up with the word "slobberknocker" ... Bama 13, Tech 11.

LSU - Washington -- Message from Les Miles: "The team is ready to play." The kind of insight you can only find on Twitter. LSU 41, Washington 17.

Georgia - Oklahoma State -- Tomlinson invited all of us over for the game. Said bring a dish. Covered or satellite? Georgia 35, Oklahoma State 34.

Kentucky 24, Miami (Ohio) 13.

Western Kentucky 10, Tennessee 30.

Jackson State - Mississippi State -- Fact: Jackson State has as many NFL Hall of Famers as Auburn, Florida, Kentucky, MSU, South Carolina and Vanderbilt combined. Relevance: None (but a bar-bet salute if you know how many and who they are). MSU 20, JSU 6.

Louisiana Tech - Auburn -- Welcome to the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately league, Mr. Chizik. (For further reading, see Tuberville, Tommy; Fulmer, Phil). Auburn 17, Louisiana Tech 16.

Missouri State 6, Arkansas 36

Western Carolina 13, Vanderbilt 27

Ole Miss - Memphis -- The question isn't whether Ole Miss is overrated (they are), or whether they can withstand the loss of NFL first-round picks from both the O and D lines (they can't). It's whether the fans can adjust to now-legal beer sales at the Liberty Bowl (they'll manage). Drink the Kool-Aid while you can, Rebs. Ole Miss 31, Memphis 20.

Courtney St. Onge (1-0)

Florida over Charleston Southern, 56-10

Va Tech over Alabama, 27-24

Tennessee over Western Kentucky, 38-14

Vanderbilt over Western Carolina, 34-7

LSU over Washington, 42-20

Oklahoma State over Georgia, 27-17

Kentucky over Miami (OH), 24-20

Miss. State over Jackson State, 35-14

Auburn over La. Tech, 24-17

Arkansas over Missouri State, 42-17

Ole Miss over Memphis, 28-16

Peter St. Onge (0-1)

Charleston Southern at #1 Florida - Tebows, 66-0 (but not 66-6.)

#5 Alabama v. #7 Virginia Tech (Atlanta) - Two offenses with some adjusting to do. Two great defenses. One is elite. Alabama, 13-6.

#11 LSU at Washington - LSU 24-7

#13 UGA at #9 Oklahoma State - Dawg fans in Charlotte will be glad they didn't get to see OSU's offense on ABC. Okie State, 27-24.

Kentucky at Miami (OH) - Kentucky 24-14.

Western Kentucky at Tennessee - Tennessee, 31-14

Jackson State at Mississippi State - Mississippi State 27-10

La. Tech at Auburn - This is a different Auburn offense. QB has a shoulder now. Offensive line is 2007 big. Auburn 27, La. Tech 17.

Missouri State at Arkansas - Arkansas 52, Mo. State 10.

Western Carolina at Vanderbilt - Vandy 27, Western Carolina 6.

Ole Miss at Memphis (Sunday) - Ole Miss not exposed yet. Ole Miss 31, Memphis 13.

Tommy Tomlinson (1-0)

Charleston Southern at #1 Florida -- At one point, Florida was a 73-point favorite in this game. I'm taking the Buccaneers to cover. Florida, 72-0.

#5 Alabama v. #7 Virginia Tech (Atlanta) -- This will not be a repeat of the Bama-Clemson blowout from last year. But I'm pretty sure the SEC #2 is better than the ACC #1. Alabama, 13-10.

#11 LSU at Washington -- LSU, 27-10.

#13 UGA at #9 Oklahoma State -- scares me to death. To. Death. But Mark Richt on the road is money. UGA, 23-18.

Kentucky at Miami (OH) -- Somebody in the SEC has to lose. Miami, 19-10.

Western Kentucky at Tennessee -- The Kiffin(s) Era begins. UT, 36-6.

Jackson State at Mississippi State -- MSU, 28-7.

La. Tech at Auburn -- Auburn, 31-13.

Missouri State at Arkansas -- Arkansas, 34-3.

Western Carolina at Vanderbilt -- Vandy, 28-3.

#8 Ole Miss at Memphis (Sunday) -- That lofty ranking comes with a nosebleed. Ole Miss, 21-20.


Anonymous said...

VT is coming out 'Tide.

Anonymous said...

Somebody want to explain the Ginger Ninja nickname?

Observer Sports said...

"Ginger" is often used to describe red or orange hair....Joe Cox has very reddish hair.