Monday, September 7, 2009

The Monday morning after . . . for the sad ACC

To sum up the weekend performance of the ACC, we turn to the insights of longtime football analysts Steely Dan:

William & Mary won't do.

Not when they're supposed to be the cupcake, the mimosa, the first oyster of the late afternoon gliding down your throat.

Note to the conference: No cupcakes for you.

Somehow, the controlled setting designed to make a wounded band of schools feel better about themselves inflicted more damage. Virginia loses to W&M; Duke to Richmond; N.C. State to South Carolina; Maryland to Cal; Va Tech to Bama.

North Carolina did handle the Fighting Burrcuts (GOOD JOB, TAR HEELS!). But in no way shape or fashion can anyone ponder the wreckage of the conference's showing and not wince.

Some of these losses were expected. Too many of them were not. It will be interesting to see how and when ACC Commissioner John Swofford and his band of merry button-down shirts will announce that their conference is right on schedule in its inexorable climb to the gridiron elite.

Caulton Tudor of the N&O has a differing take. The ACC, he writes, shouldn't stick a toe outside of its own ranks to start a season for the forseeable future. That way, at least some of its teams are guaranteed not to lose.

Let's be fair here. Nobody wins them all. In its years wandering in the wilderness, Alabama, my school, lost to more hyphenated colleges from across the South than I can Google in an hour.

But it's clear that Picking the Right Patsy, as much as that blocking and tackling stuff, is yet another football art the ACC is taking a while to learn.

Here's the scarier part. As Steely Dan put it, They've got a name for the winners of the world, I want a name when I lose. Maybe the ACC already has one. Maybe it's the tray of cupcakes everyone else can't wait to play.
-- Michael Gordon


Anonymous said...

ACC football is for sissys. SEC is the real deal!

Anonymous said...

Figures that a pimp for the SEC wouldn't know how to spell Steely.

Really, you're such goobers.

Anonymous said...

Here's one for you fornicate you. If that word is too big for you SEC goobers too bad.

South Carolina was gifted a win by having to march 17 yards for its only score. Drives were kept alive by blatant holds getting overlooked by the SEC crew and don't forget the most obvious face mask that was not called.

We get it the SEC is the toughest football conference good for it, but blog entries like this are like bully picking on a kid. Get a life maybe talk about how bad Georgia looked or the fact that Florida is scared to play a tough non conference game early in the year.

This blog is supposed to be about the SEC not the ACC anyways. Guess you need to feel good about yourself since a degree from an SEC school is worthless anyways.

Anonymous said...

Ole Miss looks to be its Jeckyll/Hyde self this year. I still can't quite believe they're a top 10 team for the first time since Thanksgiving Day 1970.

Reid said...

Sad ACC eh? I seem to remember the ACC doing better than the SEC in their head-to-head games. In 12 games, they tied with 6 wins apiece but based off of conference standings, the SEC should've won 9 of the 12 matchups. So there, 'SEC Expats'.

Reid said...

And also, 'SEC Expats' you seem to forget that the ACC had 10 bowl teams last season while the SEC had a mere 8. Yeah, the SEC is WAY better.

Observer Sports said...

The SEC pimp regrets the Steely Dan error, and promises to do better with his name-dropping efforts in the future.

And to the anonymous poster who graced this board with his formal f-bomb. Remember, young man, proper punctuation always helps you make your point more effectively.

SEC pimp and out.

Bigdawg said...

Picking the right patsy for the first game doesn't seem to be exclusive to the ACC. The first time I ever heard of Charleston Southern was when I saw they were playing the FL Gators last weekend. I'm sure you Gator fans enjoyed your first preseason exhibition game. Your next preseason exhibition is next Saturday against the Troy Trojans of the Sun Belt conference. Your regular season games start on Sept 19. UGA, Bama, VA Tech and OK St deserve a lot of credit for starting their real seasons last Saturday.