Friday, October 23, 2009

Who ya got? (Week 8)

The calendar has turned to hog-killing time. That was the term I heard every fall when the temperatures turned and the life expectancy of the family's pigs took a pronounced dip. It's also hog-killing time in the SEC. The season is boiling down to the tusk and bristle of the traditional rivals, and any loss puts a very large knife in a team's BCS plans. Let's get at it.

Michael Gordon
Tennessee at Alabama: Will the bye week be a welcome week of rest for the Vols or an interruption of its first sign of momentum? Take the latter. As spottily as Greg McElroy has performed the last two weeks, this is a special Alabama team that has too much at stake to take Tennessee lightly. Besides, the Vols still start Jonathan Crompton. Tide, 24-10.

Florida at Mississippi State: The Lizard Men intend to make a statement in Starkville. Just how big an exclamation point it earns remains to be seen. Gators, 42-17.

Arkansas at Ole Miss: Rapidly improving Arkansas plays the SEC's most disappointing team. If Nutt's players bring "give-up" to the game, this could become one ugly afternoon in Oxford. Hogs, 27-24.

Auburn at LSU: Auburn doesn't have enough players with SEC talent. LSU has too many talents without a discernible clue. Talent eeks by. LSU, 24-17.

Vanderbilt at South Carolina: Trap game for the Gamecocks, but Vandy is just bad enough to let Carolina gaze ahead to Florida and still muddle through. 'Cocks, 21-10.

LA-Monroe at Kentucky: The best coaching job in the conference notches another win. Cats, 31-10.

R. Trentham Roberts
Theme of the week: taking the measure of the first-year coaches. With that in mind...

Tennessee-Alabama: With Florida and Texas surviving squeakers, Tide was getting all the love this week. Can't see the Vols being able to do enough against the 'Bama D. Alabama 30, UT 13.

Florida-Mississippi State: Had the Gators handled Arkansas with ease, I was thinking this would be another one where MSU stays close but comes up short. Now? What was a trap game becomes a semi-statement game. Florida 49, MSU 7.

Auburn-LSU: Death Valley is not the place for visitors to turn around their fortunes. Look for more offense (and maybe a Russell Shepard sighting) from the Bayou Bengals. LSU 27, Auburn 14. 

Elsewhere: Ole Miss 24, Arkansas 22. South Carolina 33, Vandy 10. Kentucky 40, Louisiana-Monroe 13.


Anonymous said...

Remember in the 1989 Batman movie when the Joker said, “Will you tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a guy dressed up as a bat gets all of my press?” I think that’s how this one SEC officiating crew has been feeling. They say to each other, “Will you tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a bunch of 19-year-old kids get all of our press?”

So they come up with innovative solutions. “Let’s call unsportsmanlike conduct penalties on anyone who scores a touchdown and doesn’t immediately fossilize.” Another one says, “Let’s call roughing the passer on anyone whose head is in the same ZIP code as the Florida QB.” Armed with their game plan, these crusaders head to the field ready to teach these punk kids that it’s the OFFICIALS people pay to see, not the big-headed players.

Then the SEC Commish calls. A survey of the fans reveals that, unbelievably enough, it actually is the players the people want to see. “Y’all are going to have to sit out a week,” Commish says. “And, you may not get to officiate a bowl game.” The officials reportedly will use the week off to brush up on their skills. Several NBA replacement officials will conduct some seminars for them.

On to this week’s picks:

Tennessee at ‘Bama – After the UGA game, Rocky Toppers think Crompton is a quarterback. Take it from an Auburn fan – success can be VERY fleeting. And this week’s defense is a tad better. The Evil Empire 27, Lane & Monty 14

Ar-Kansas at Misipi – Midway through the first quarter, Snead is informed he isn’t playing UAB and reverts to previous form. Ar-Kansas 24, Misipi 10

Louisiana-Monroe at Kentucky – What a way to celebrate the big win down on the plains. This is every bit as unacceptable as Auburn playing Furman. Mildcats 41, ULM 7

Vanderbilt at S. Carolina – SC has more than enough speed to keep the option in check. Fightin’ Chickens 17, Vandy 7

Florida at Misipi St – This is a MLB-style case of large market vs. small market. Gators will easily outbid Bulldogs in the auction to buy officials. Gators 42, Misipi St. 14

Auburn at LSU – Now that the 2008 Auburn team has completely replaced the 2009 first 5 games team, LSU has the perfect cure for what ails them. LSU 24, War Eagle 10